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- NoFap / Sexual addictionIn some historical Buddhist monastic traditions, particularly in more austere or conservative settings, a teacher’s response to sexual cravings might have been stricter or even harsh by modern standards. While Buddhist teachings generally emphasize compassion and mindfulness, certain schools or teachers could resort to tougher methods to enforce discipline. Here are some of the more brutal or severe ways they might have reacted: 1. Physical Punishment • Corporal Discipline: In some strict monastic settings, physical punishment or discomfort could have been used to correct behaviour, especially if a student repeatedly gave in to cravings or violated the monastic code. This could include methods like beatings, enforced long hours of manual labour, or periods of isolation. • Sleep Deprivation or Fasting: A teacher might enforce extreme ascetic practices such as depriving the student of sleep or food as a form of discipline, believing that denying bodily comforts could help weaken the cravings and desires that disrupt spiritual focus. 2. Public Shaming or Humiliation • Shaming Rituals: In some cases, monks who violated their vows (including celibacy) might be subject to public shaming in front of the monastic community. This could involve forced confessions, wearing special robes or markings to signify their misconduct, or sitting separately from the rest of the community during meals or meditations. • Expulsion from the Monastery: If the behaviour persisted or was seen as a serious threat to the spiritual integrity of the community, the student might be expelled from the monastery. In a harsh environment, this could mean not only social isolation but being cut off from the resources and protection that the monastic life provided. 3. Harsh Meditation Practices • Extended Meditation Sessions: A teacher might force a student to endure extremely long, physically punishing meditation sessions without breaks, sometimes in uncomfortable or painful positions. This would be done to force the student to confront and overcome their cravings through sheer endurance. • Meditation in Graveyards or Cremation Grounds: Some teachers in certain Buddhist traditions (especially in the Vajrayana and ascetic sects) would send monks to meditate in graveyards or cremation grounds to reflect on the impermanence of the body and life. This brutal, fear-based method was meant to shock the student into detachment from worldly desires, including sexual cravings. 4. Extreme Asceticism • Harsh Self-Denial: The student might be forced into a period of extreme asceticism, where they would deny themselves basic bodily needs, such as food, warmth, or even sleep, for extended periods. This was sometimes thought to weaken bodily desires by pushing the body to its limits. • Self-Mortification: Although the Buddha rejected extreme self-mortification, some sects or teachers may have adopted similar practices, where students were encouraged to punish their bodies as a way to rid themselves of worldly desires. This could include things like wearing uncomfortable or painful clothing or engaging in difficult physical tasks. 5. Isolation or Solitude • Solitary Confinement: In certain cases, students who struggled with sexual cravings could be isolated from the rest of the monastic community. They might be sent to meditate in isolation in a remote cave, a secluded part of the monastery, or even in the wilderness, with minimal food or contact with others. This would be done as a way to force them to confront their cravings without any distractions or comfort. • Extended Silence (Vow of Silence): A teacher could impose a vow of silence for an extended period as a form of self-reflection and penitence, forcing the student to focus entirely on their inner struggles and cutting off any external expression of desire. 6. Threats of Spiritual Consequences • Fear of Rebirth in Lower Realms: Teachers might use fear-based tactics, warning that succumbing to sexual cravings could lead to rebirth in a lower realm, such as in the animal or hell realms, according to Buddhist cosmology. This spiritual threat could be a form of psychological pressure to force students to control their desires. • Invoking Karmic Retribution: They might also emphasise that indulgence in sexual cravings would bring severe negative karma, resulting in suffering in this life or future lives. This could be framed in a very harsh way to deter the student from indulging in desires. While these more severe methods were not the norm across all Buddhist traditions, certain schools or teachers- especially those with a strong emphasis on asceticism and renunciation- may have resorted to such brutal or extreme forms of discipline in an attempt to break a student’s attachment to worldly desires, including sexual cravings.Like
- NoFap / Sexual addictionReaching out to your NoFap coach as soon as you notice an urge is crucial for several reasons. The process of communicating these feelings is not just a supportive gesture; it’s a vital strategy for maintaining progress and preventing relapses. When you experience an urge, it can feel overwhelming and isolating. However, the diligent aspirant understands that acknowledging these feelings and seeking help is a clinical and automatic response that enhances their chances of success. Here’s why this approach is important: 1. Immediate Support: By reaching out promptly, you can access immediate support from your coach. This can help you navigate the urge effectively and prevent it from escalating. Coaches provide tools and strategies to cope with these feelings, making it easier to resist temptation. 2. Accountability: Communicating with your coach reinforces a sense of accountability. When you share your struggles, you’re less likely to give in to the urge, knowing that someone is there to support you and hold you accountable for your choices. 3. Skill Development: Engaging with your coach when urges arise allows you to practice and refine the coping strategies discussed in your sessions. This proactive approach helps you become more skilled at managing urges over time, making it easier to deal with similar situations in the future. 4. Understanding Triggers: Discussing urges with your coach provides an opportunity to explore and understand your triggers. This clinical reflection can lead to deeper insights about your behavior and thought patterns, enabling you to develop more effective strategies for managing future urges. 5. Building Resilience: By consistently reaching out when faced with urges, you build resilience against relapse. This automatic response fosters a healthy habit of seeking help, reinforcing your commitment to your NoFap journey. 6. Community Connection: Sharing your experiences creates a sense of community and connection. Knowing that others are there to support you can alleviate feelings of isolation and encourage you to stay on track. In conclusion, the diligent aspirant recognises that reaching out to their NoFap coach is not just a helpful practice; it’s a critical component of their recovery process. By doing this automatically and clinically, they empower themselves to face urges effectively, enhancing their likelihood of long-term success. This proactive approach transforms challenges into opportunities for growth and learning, ultimately leading to a healthier and more fulfilling life.Like
- NoFap / Sexual addictionYou will only know what works for you by trying different methods full-heartedly (never half-heartedly), so I can’t say for certain what will work for you Some men find that counting the days helps, and some find that it doesn’t, so it is up to you to identify which methods works best for you Counting the days can help you stay motivated and keep track of how well you’re doing, and watching the numbers go up feels good and helps you set goals Hitting milestones, like 30 or 90 days, can give you a boost and make you feel proud of your progress But focusing too much on the day count can also bring stress- if you relapse, starting over at day one might feel frustrating and make you want to give up. Counting the days can take attention away from real personal growth, making it feel like you’re improving just by reaching a higher number, even if bigger problems aren’t being fixed, so it’s all about balance I generally advise to count the days up until 90 days, without too much stress over the number, then to stop counting after 90 days (because in no man’s ideal life is he counting the days since he last masturbated…) After 90 days it’s advisable to keep a note of what date you hit 90 days, and some even keep their day-counting app running in the background while the app is in a hidden folder Since the ultimate goal is to break free from both fapping and NoFap, the last act is to forget about daycount and just focus on living your life and achieving your goals So in short, I recommend counting the days up to 90, then to stop counting while a record is kept of when you hit 90 By 90 days, if you’ve followed the right advice diligently, you will have developed healthier coping mechanisms to deal with stress- which you can rely on- and your brain will have had enough time to heal from the over-stimulation, so there should be little chance of relapsing after 90 days if you follow the advice diligently However, not everybody is the same- for example, some people have been fapping for 20 years, and some for only 5, so it’s important to be patient with yourself and trust the process This forum post answers the FAQ ‘how long does it take?’, which might also interest you: https://www.inspirationparadise.org/forum/nofap-sexual-addiction/how-long-does-it-takeLike